Day 91 to 95 - km 3436.8 to 3642.9

I have always been very critical of fainthearted people who stop doing things due to their fear. I had never understood it well. At least until 2014 when on one of the flights I took, the plane shook more than usual. Some people screamed and others cried, and the faces of the hostesses in their seats clinging onto their seat belts gave me no confidence. On the next flight, the plane didn't shake for a second and I spent the whole flight thinking I was going to die. With my hands and feet sweating, I seriously thought about returning to Portugal overland. I was in Thailand. Three months later I got back on a plane from China to Australia, and the fear was still there. It still remains today, but fortunately I have managed to keep flying even with that fear.

On day 91, I was walking quietly at night after only seeing 3 people – all hunters – throughout the day I. Around 10 pm, after coming round a small bend, there was a mountain lion sitting in the middle of the trail.

'No, it's not, it can't be' was my first thought. It's eyes glowed with the reflection of my flashlight... Yes it was... Usually at night I sing or talk loudly, but at that moment I was silently thinking about life. I then shouted loudly at him. He stood up and walked off the trail, not without looking back at me first. I can't remember properly, but I think I wasn't afraid when I first saw him, but I remember perfectly well that I was terrified when I could no longer see him. I stood still for 5 minutes, looking all around me, and only then I was able to walk on.

Then, I started screaming my lungs out, enough to be heard across the galaxy. No more than 20 minutes later, I saw a place to camp. I wanted to walk more but I was so scared that I decided to stop. I went to where I wanted to set up my tent and, I kid you not, I spent over 30 minutes standing still, with my rucksack on my back, looking and pointing everywhere. I heard so many noises, all in my head, I know, but…

On day 92 I only left my tent when the sun was shining well above my head and, at the end of the day, I went into my tent when the sun was just below the horizon and giving way to a gorgeous moon. I repeated this routine until day 95, at least. I hate this, being stuck in fear is terrible!

The next 4 days were great, I stayed with people who have been receiving hikers since the late 1990s. It was amazing, but the fear I was feeling was bad. I want to be able to walk at night again.